i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
