asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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