there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
