So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
