and you said cock pushups were impossible
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
