Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize