Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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