I'm going to jail i love you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
