I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
