Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize