I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
