All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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