I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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