all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
