dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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