Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
