Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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