i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
