WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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