Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
