apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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