Don't you send me to vm
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
