i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
