so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
