i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize