we have officially lost it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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