This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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