3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
