what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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