the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
