I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
