now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
