i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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