didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
