Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
