how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
