He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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