You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
