nut hugger
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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