Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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