I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
