So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
