Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize