At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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