Screwed.edu
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
