Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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