Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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