i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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