and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
