we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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