everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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