you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
