Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
