Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
