How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
