you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
