Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
