Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just googled if crying burns calories
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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